3 Day Rule

The 3 day or 72 hour rule is something that I live by. The rule states that while visiting with friends and/or family you should never stay more than 72 hour at someone's house.

Ever since I was a sophomore in college, I have lived by this rule. 72 hours is the perfect amount of time to see family and friends. Anything over 72 hours starts to enter the danger zone. As a guest in someone's house, the host tends to look over thing that annoys him or her. Similarly, you, as the guest, must conform to the host's rules ie coasters on an Ikea coffee table, 10 minute showers etc. At some point, the host's rules or your annoyances will get to much and animosity will start to build. It starts small with a small quip here or there, but overtime it will start to build. Typically, 72 hour is that breaking point.

The same can be said going home to your parents' home. For many young people, the first time they should use the 72 Hour Rule is that first trip back home from college ie Fall Break. After a month or two at college, the youngster has tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. No parent to tell them to go to bed, what foods to eat, or who to hang out with. Now this youngster comes back home to parents that still see him or her as the child that played in the backyard. There parental instincts kicks back into high gear. This situation is ripe for conflict. Phrases like " I am in college now," "give me some freedom," and "when you are under my roof" will start flying. Limiting stays to under 72 hours will make everyone feel better.

Once, my older sister told me is that we come home to remind ourselves why we left in the first place. Yes, this comment was cynical, but its has a bit of truth.  Anytime that I get homesick (yes, once and a while I get home sick), I fly home to Connecticut. And less than  72 hours later, I realize why I live in Washington, DC. I love my family, but I love my freedom as well. When home I have to drive everywhere and things close at 10pm. If I want food at 10pm, I should be able to find a place that serves it.

On your next trip to family or friends' house, try out the 3 day rule. 72 hours is the perfect amount of time to let you visit family, friends and your favorite food establishments. On the other hand, its not long enough to make you feel like a burden or cause problems. You will see your visits become better and better by instituting the rule. Try it, you have nothing to lose!

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Trip Home or Trip to Connecticut?

Last month, I went to Connecticut to visit with friends and family. My visit home was the first in over 10 months. The question I got ask frequently was “how does it feel to be home?”

Its an intresting question. For many people, the place the you were born or grew up will always be consider home. Connecticut is no longer my home. I have not lived full time in Connecticut since 2003, the year I left for college. I consider the DMV (District of Columbia, Maryland and Virginia) my home. Come August, I will have lived in the Washington, DC metroplitain area for 10 years.

Even worse, my mom sold my childhood home a few years ago. She put the house on the market at its height and got a great price for it. 

My Childhood Home

A few years later, she bought a smaller townhouse for an amazing price. Downsizing from a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house to a 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath was and still is the right decision.

My Mom's Current Place

Therefore, when I come to Connecticut and am asked, “Am I happy to be home?,” I feel awkward. Yes, I am excited to be in Connecticut to see friends and family. But, I don’t consider this home. Catch-22???

I think this is a feeling many young people feel. Many of us leave “home” for the first time to go to college. The minute that we pull out of the drive way of your home, things immediately change. At college, every night we return home to our dorm and that becomes "home". As college progresses, we move into apartments or houses and that becomes even more home. Then college ends and the college graduate leaves the walls of academia and gets their first place. Since he or she is hopefully paying for their place on their own, this become "home".

My hometown will always have a place in my heart. I have thousands of memories, from Little League games to Drama Club performances, and one day I will bring my future family back there. However, it is no longer home.

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Have a question for us? E-mail us at chris@doitforthepoints.com or jd@doitforthepoints.com