The Points Hobby, Friends and When Does It Cross To An Obsession? Even a Dangerous Obsession?

This points hobby that Chris and I love is putting a strain on our friendships with our core group of friends. SAY WHAT! Yes, this points addiction that Chris and I have sometimes can rile our friends and most recently caused a bit of an awkward situation.

Let me take a step back....

Chris and I started this blog at the encouragement of our friends. They were tired of us dominating our Happy Hours discussions with talk of points. Now six months later, the blog is an integral part of Chris and my's life causing us to go on mattress and mileage runs, apply for multiple credit cards at one time, and traveling to conferences & meet-ups.

A few weeks ago, Chris emails me about amazing fares to SFO and asked if I wanted to go on twos runs in May. Of course, I said yes...one has to DO IT FOR THE POINTS. Well, one of the runs was the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. No big deal, right? I wish that was the case. You see Chris, the GF, myself and our friends that we lovingly call  "Cash Back Boy" and Limited Credit Boy because of their aversion to either miles and points or credit cards as the worst thing ever,  have been trying to plan a trip for that weekend.

I came home from work and told Cash Back boy about our mileage run on Memorial Day weekend. The response was not what I expected. It went something like this:

"We have been trying to go somewhere as group that weekend. Its the last [beep] weekend to go somewhere as a group. Do you two understand that. Its our last [beep] weekend to go somewhere as a group before our friends head off to grad school and you two choose this weekend to fly across the [beeping] country to do a mileage run. Why not any other [beeping] weekend, there is only 52 of them!"

Chris and I were planning on canceling the trip anyways, but we used the philosophy of "book and ask questions later" (thank you new DOT rules allowing 24 hour free cancellations), but the damage has been done. We are trying to make right of our mistake, but Cash Back Boy is still not happy.

This begs the questions...when does a hobby become an obsession? The definition of an obsession is an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes one's mine. Obsessions cloud people's minds. What is right and wrong get blurred in the pursuit of feeding the obsession.

I have written many times how dangerous this hobby can be. The danger comes in the Keeping Up With the Jones mentality. One reads amazing first class, five star trip reports and the mind goes into over drive: if I need to be successful in this hobby, I need to go on trips like that. To get those amazing trips, I need to earn truckloads of points. Earning those points dominates your life.

It starts small, you start eating out three nights in a row, justified by the restaurants are all Dining Reward Participants, you start ordering everything through online portals and you apply for two credit cards. Harmless Right?

Now you visit CVS for "ice cream" a few days a week, you may rent a car, to drive around the block for airline miles and you order a charger for a Verizon phone because it an 50,000 mile error, even though you have a T-Mobile phone. None of these activities scream time for an intervention, but do you see the progression? The need for points start forcing one to complete activities that one normally would not do.

However, the points balances are not going up fast enough for that trip to Bora Bora or the Maldives. The brain is now clouded...the obsession starts hops into the driver seat. The next credit card app-o-rama has one planning on getting 4 or 5 cards, but wait, that blogger just wrote about applying and getting approved for 8 cards. I can do that as well.

The brain starts coming through the fog and ask, what did you do? We now have a ton of minimum spend to meet. One starts hiding ice cream behind the Facebook cards or better what about putting them behind the Pampers in aisle 7. The ice cream and Amazon payment only gets you so far, so you purchase gift cards to meet the spend requirements. What are you going to do with $500 to Amazon, $1000 to the local grocery store etc? The chance that one carries a balance on the credit cards increases thus eliminating the benefit gained by the sign-up bonuses.

This is an extreme example, but one that must occur within our community. The Keeping Up The Jones mentality is real, but very dangerous, Newbies that first arrive into this community can be deceived on how easy it is to earn points for First Class/Five Star vacations. What newbies don't understand is that you have to set your limits up front? Where is that line that you won't cross?

Why did I go on the tangent within this post?

One to apologize to our friends, which has happened in person already.

But, two to talk how even those who have been participating in the community can have reality clouded. It is so easy to be come obsessed in this hobby.

Chris and I were obsessed with getting higher status or miles that our judgement was clouded. Normal us would not have booked the trip. We would have known that it was going to cause problem with our friends and the miles earn was not enough benefit to offset the consequences.

The drive to get to the next status level can make people do crazy things. Having a partner in this hobby is so important. One needs a person to question your actions sometimes. For example, earlier this week Chris was going to book himself and I a trip to Alaska for less than 24 hours for a great price. At first glance, I agreed, but within an hour, I told Chris to cancel it. The cost did not make sense. Chris eventually agreed, but it took me shaking him to wake up. One needs a partner before coming into this hobby to bring you back to reality: be it a spouse, partner or friend; even better if they don't participate.

Status/points can be a very powerful drug that makes you do strange things. Just make sure it stays as a hobby and not an addiction.


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